Are you finding dating to be a frustrating and confusing experience?
Are you struggling to move past a breakup?
You’ve always wanted to be with someone special. Someone to come home to at the end of a long day. Someone to spend the weekends with. You thought you’d have them by now, but lately you’re starting to wonder. Dating seems like a frustrating puzzle, and the prospects don’t seem very promising. Your friends are settling down and having families, which makes it even worse. In short, love has not turned out like you thought it would.
It makes sense that love matters so much to you, because as humans we’re wired to be in relationships. The quality of our intimate relationships is one of the greatest predictors of longevity and happiness. Even colds and flus can be predicted by how harmonious your relationships are. Loneliness is now described as worse for you than smoking. When our romantic relationships are not working, we tend to internalize the rejection. It impacts our self-worth, and can lead to depression and anxiety. Despite the challenges, we continue to persist in our search for love.
The hopeful part is that love doesn’t have to be a frustrating mystery anymore. Whether you are single, dating, or going through a breakup, it is possible to improve your ability to be in a loving relationship. Thanks to the science of adult attachment, we know a lot about healthy relationships. Once you understand your relationship patterns and attachment style, it is possible to move toward having a healthier relationship. I’ve had many clients remark that they wished that they knew this information many years ago, as it would have influenced who they dated, and what relationships they stayed in.
You might find counselling helpful for the following issues:
- You're dating someone new and you're not sure if the relationship is healthy
- You've gone through a break-up and you're having a hard time moving on
- You want to find a long-term partner
- You fall in love easily with the wrong people
- You wonder whether your partner is "the one"
- You're unsatisfied in your relationship and are not sure if you should leave
- You find yourself getting bored after the initial infatuation wears off
- You have time opening your heart in relationships
- You give more than you receive in relationships
Breakups and Unrequited Love
- You can't get a certain person out of your mind
- You're not sure how to handle a breakup
I am passionate about working with relationship issues, and utilize a variety of approaches from attachment theory and couples therapy. One of my favourite books for people wanting to find healthy relationships is Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
I can help you to:
- Determine your attachment style and pattern of relating to others
- Understand what to look for in a romantic partner, based on the science of attachment
- Heal from past relationships
What's the Next Step?
- Visit my videos page for more information about healthy relationships
- If you've recently ended a relationship, check out my breakup recovery kit
To get started, I start with an individualized assessment of your history and specific needs, which normally takes one or two sessions.