What is Love Addiction?

The memory of you is like a drug to me.
— Jeremy Aldana

Are you searching for that perfect partner, but feel continually disappointed in relationships? Do many of your relationships develop quickly then end abruptly? Are you attracted to people who are emotionally (or otherwise) unavailable?

Love addiction is an intimacy disorder in which individuals look to romantic partners to rescue or fill a deep emptiness. Most people with love addiction have not had healthy models for intimate relationships, so they create unrealistic fantasies to fill in the void. Some of these fantasies include wanting to be rescued, or the belief that a romantic relationship will solve all problems. They also tend to have unhealthy beliefs about themselves, such as “I’m not good enough.” In romantic relationships, they may attract needy or troubled partners, or people who lack the capacity to emotionally connect.

When those with love addiction issues are in romantic relationships, they often become obsessed with their partners. They may pursue them aggressively, and have a lot of anxiety if the person does not respond immediately to their texts or phone calls. The love addict can feel like they are on a rollercoaster or going crazy. They may blame themselves if the relationship doesn’t work out, or read a lot into what people say or do.

What I knew, adored, and fell for was a fantasy. He did not exist in human terms – Coco J. Ginger

I work with clients with love addiction issues to help them understand themselves and develop healthy ways of relating to themselves and others.

Recovery typically involves:

-Abstaining from unhealthy behaviours 

-Gaining insight into their pattern of relating to others

-Focusing on self-care and personal development

-Learning to relate to others in healthy ways

Starting the process involves an assessment period, which typically takes one to two sessions. From there, we will create a customized treatment plan. My approach with love addiction is influenced by attachment theory and Pia Mellody’s work.

Complete the assessment questionnaire by Love Addicts Anonymous